Archive for blue cheese

The Fight Commences

Posted in Rise Up with tags , , , on June 30, 2008 by I'M AMERICAN!

This morning I awoke to the buzzing of my chainsaw alarm clock and for the first time in a week I wasn’t cut turning it off.  ‘Stupid invention’ my ass.  After putting on my hare hair slippers (also homemade) I went to take a shower.  Upon turning on the water I realized I had skipped a step in my routine.

I ran out to the garage and started my Suburban, blasting the heat so that when it was time to depart I would be doing so nice and toasty.  I rolled down the window so that next months slippers – caged by the water heater – could also benefit from the heat.  I was half way out of the garage when I realized that next month was almost upon us.  So I made sure to stuff a towel under the crack of the smaller egress that leads to the laundry room.  Why go through the hassle of snapping their furry necks when they can peacefully choke to death on carbon monoxide?

I had purposefully left the shower running so that when I got back things were nice and steamy.  While lathering up using the only brand shampoo I could find that still tested on animals I realized that I was really only one person, and the battle against mother nature needed more soldiers.  This blog will serve as a way to recruit others to support the cause against our oldest nemesis.  Remember, it was the fruit from a tree and a guile snake that first screwed over humanity.  Well, I’m ready to screw nature right back.  And I hope you are too.  Lets run a train on this bitch.